‘Walk and Talk Therapy’ - Embracing the path to mental wellness, one step at a time

Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, grief, anger, relationship difficulties, or are feeling stuck in repeating unhealthy patterns, Walk and Talk Therapy may be the breath of fresh air you need to move forward in your unique journey.  This dynamic approach combines the benefits of traditional counselling with the physical and mental benefits of walking in nature.

What is Walk and Talk Therapy?

Rather than sitting in a chair in a counsellor’s practice, client and counsellor walk side by side, in a park or along a footpath. The pace is gentle, always set by the client, and the focus is more on the conversation than the physical exercise. This approach creates a relaxed environment that helps the client feel more comfortable and makes it easier for them to share and explore deeply buried issues.

The Benefits of Walk and Talk Therapy

Connection with Nature

One of the benefits of Walk and Talk Therapy is the connection with nature, which reduces stress, improves mood, and increases overall well-being. The natural environment serves as a calming backdrop, helping to alleviate anxiety and depression while encouraging a sense of peace and tranquillity.

Physical Movement

Movement itself is therapeutic. Walking promotes the release of endorphins, the body's natural mood enhancers, which can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. The rhythmic nature of walking also helps process thoughts and emotions.

A Sense of Progress

When we move our bodies and shift our environment, we can think differently about aspects of our lives that have before seemed immovable. Walking forward physically can symbolize moving forward emotionally. This metaphor of movement and progress can be empowering and can reinforce the idea for clients that they are taking active steps in their mental health journey.

Reduced Intensity

For some people, the traditional face-to-face setup in a counsellor’s practice can feel intense and sometimes intimidating. Walking side by side in an open environment can lessen the pressure, with a sense of equality and union in the partnership between client and counsellor. This can be especially beneficial for those who prefer more informal settings to express themselves.

Improved Focus and Creativity

Walking can enhance self-awareness and creativity. As we walk, we may find that our thoughts flow more freely, allowing for deeper self-reflection and more insightful conversations. The changing environment and sensory stimuli encountered during a walk can also help to spark new ideas and new perspectives. The outdoors environment can be incorporated as part of the therapeutic work, such as by using natural grounding tools or nature-based metaphors.

What should you consider before having outdoor therapy?

Is Walk and Talk Therapy Right for me?

While Walk and Talk Therapy offers many benefits, it is not the right fit for everyone. Some people may prefer the confidentiality and structure of a traditional therapy setting. Additionally, individuals with certain physical limitations may find walking uncomfortable or challenging. It is essential we have an open discussion to determine if this approach aligns with your needs and preferences.

What if I’m not used to walking?

I will adjust the pace of our walk to suit your comfort level. You can decide whether to walk continuously or to take breaks, such as sitting on a bench. The sessions are flexible and tailored to your needs.

What happens if the weather isn’t ideal?

I am open to conducting sessions in various weather conditions, but if you have specific preferences, it’s important to communicate this to me. If the weather is too hot or rainy, I might suggest an alternative plan such as working online. 

How is confidentiality maintained?

Before the first walk and talk therapy session, I will inform you of how confidentiality can be implemented in a natural environment. Because walk and talk therapy takes place in a natural setting, there could be times when nearby people may hear parts of a session. To prevent this, we will temporarily pause the conversation until privacy is restored.

What about maintaining boundaries?

Although the physical setting is different, the professional boundaries between client and counsellor remain the same. The therapeutic relationship and working agreement are still in effect, ensuring emotional safety and integrity. I will explain these boundaries clearly during the first session.

Conclusion

Walk and talk therapy offers the perfect blend of mental clarity from counselling and the mood-boosting power of a good walk! By stepping out of the traditional counselling practice setting and into the fresh air, this dynamic approach creates a sense of freedom that simply sitting in a chair can’t provide. It's a refreshing, energizing way to work through your feelings while embracing the outdoors.

So, if you’re ready to take active steps—literally and emotionally—toward better mental health, lace up those shoes and let’s get moving!

How to stop languishing and start flourishing

We may have a good job, a nice family, some friends, financial security, but somehow, something seems to be missing.

Languishing is the absence of what makes life meaningful and worth living. We may feel that we don’t have a purpose in life, that we don’t truly belong anywhere, that relationships are not meaningful, or that we are not really growing as a person.  Languishing is the opposite to flourishing, and it affects 50-60% of us. 

So, do we fail to listen to that empty silence in ourselves and fail to do something about it, or do we empower ourselves to function well and flourish more?

According to sociologist Corey Keyes (‘Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down’, Crown, 2024), there are five vitamins that we can ‘take’ to help with languishing.

We need to intentionally:

1.  Learn and grow.

·       Learn something new that we want to understand and discover.  It has to be something we choose and that is meaningful and relevant to us.

·       Focus on how facing challenges can be an opportunity to grow too.

·       Replace envy of others with admiration, and learn from them.

·       Have the grace to accept failure and to embrace our imperfections.

2.  Cultivate warm and trusting relationships.

·       Focus on quality, not quantity, and prioritise friendships that are attuned, reciprocal and collaborative.

·       Give and receive equally to have more intimacy, i.e. be supportive listeners AND have the vulnerability to share our deepest needs and struggles.

·       Choose friends from different backgrounds to remove bias and develop perspectives outside our experience.

·       Do something useful for others which will increase our sense of ‘mattering’ and decrease our loneliness.

3.  Have a spiritual practice.

·       A practice of honouring a power greater than ourselves, whether it is God, Nature or the Universe, or anything else, will shrink our ego.  We will feel connected to something bigger which will give us a sense of belonging and add meaning to our life.

·       Using right attention creates right intention: we need practices that root us in loving kindness, that we can come back to and recentre ourselves in.

·       Practice self-compassion and mental flexibility, e.g. respond to negative experiences according to our deeply held values instead of reacting with fear or resentment.

·       Accept the things we cannot change.  Acceptance starts with self-acceptance!

4.  Find and live our purpose.

Goals only direct us toward the external path of success, having a purpose directs us towards the internal path of significance.

·       Ask ourselves what personal qualities we can use to make a useful contribution to others and/or our community.

·       Start small, for example, with three acts of kindness a day to others or the world or giving some time and energy (not just money) to a cause meaningful to us.

·       Have a plan for a purpose right now and develop skills toward it.

·       Trust our instinct, be open to opportunities and put ourselves out there.  Purpose may turn up when we least expect it, and we must be ready when it comes!

5.  Play

·       Seek delight in the process, not the outcome. 

·       Let our imagination run wild, explore, discover and be curious.

·       Adopt a play mindset for some of the more boring jobs we do.

·       Find people, animals and activities that make us laugh.

·      Collect experiences rather than things, engage in the ones that have a more active focus, with a mind to being present and fully engaged.

Too often, we try to ‘achieve’ being happy as quickly and directly as possible by chasing feeling ‘good’. But perhaps we could focus instead on working on the ‘functioning well’ aspects of flourishing.

By focusing on growing, having meaningful social and spiritual connections, increasing our purpose in life, balanced with a good measure of playfulness, happiness may just gently land on our shoulder.

Embracing conflict in relationships

Two myths about conflicts:

They are bad for relationships

Not only are conflicts inevitable in relationships, but they are necessary!  Research has shown that, contrary to popular belief, early conflict in a relationship is a predictor of good outcomes, because it means that partners feel secure enough to bring up issues without fear.  Conflict does not have to break us and our partner apart, we can grow closer BECAUSE of it. 

They should always be resolved

Most conflicts will in fact never be resolved, this is normal and ok. Only a third of all fights have a solution.  The rest are perpetual conflicts that need to be “managed” over and over.  They are inevitable because we all have differing needs and personalities. 

People have different styles of conflict

There are three styles we tend to gravitate more towards, none better than the other:

·       Avoiding: we choose not to bring up issues and only focus on what is working well in the

relationship. 

Conflicts are unnoticeable, which can lead to disconnection.

·       Validating: we problem solve and debate in a rational way with less room for emotions. 

Conflicts can be tense fights.

·       Volatile: we express emotions freely and this can escalate and get out of control. 

Conflicts are explosive fights.

No matter what our style is, the important aspect is to keep the ratio of positive interactions to negative ones above 5:1, according to relationship experts, Julie and John Guttman. This will help with staying open and interested without shutting down or becoming defensive. Examples of positive interactions could be a smile, a joke, a touch, a nod or a validating comment.

When do fights go wrong?

·       When we dismiss each other’s negative emotions.

This leads to an escalation of emotions because the person feels invalidated.

·       When there is no humour, affection or warmth. 

This can soon be replaced with criticism, contempt, stonewalling and defensiveness.

·       When we become flooded and do not realise this is happening to us. 

This leaves our emotional brain in charge and we have a typical Fight, Flight, Freeze or

Fawn reaction.

What to do instead?

·       Honour and respect each other’s emotions, without minimising what the other is feeling.

·       Moving from gridlock to dialogue, exploring each other’s unmet needs and dreams with openness and curiosity. The goal is not to win against an opponent but to think for two. 

·       Be aware in the moment of what flooding feels like physically for us.  Letting our partner know that we need to pause and move away for an hour or so will allow us to reset and come back to the discussion with more calm and openness.

Finally, continually filling our positive emotions piggy bank will help

According to research, the biggest predictor of the future of a relationship is responding positively to our partner’s bids for connection.  When they sigh, for example, do we turn away, do we ignore them or do we turn toward them and ask if they are alright?

The odds of us being on the same page all the time are quite low, so we need to make an intentional effort to turn TOWARD each other during those fleeting moments throughout the day. 

This will be an investment in our piggy bank of positive emotions which we will be able to turn to in times of conflict.